Get Off My Case (I won't say it)

I understand. I could see it in her. She didn’t tell me half of what I know (she never did)… but I knew the process so well, you see? It’s how I knew in the first place. About myself… no matter how intellectually you struggle for something, sometimes it will just never sit in your body.

Nature does this… it creates half/half or 3/4 or any mix & variation.. But we live in a society that accepts one or the other, not both. A situation supported by our brains’ natural tendency to absolutism. It’s Plato’s perfect triangle; the idea of a triangle, the defining mathematics of it’s form or essence, is eternal. Any individual triangle, the triangles of the day-to-day experiential world, are never quite perfect: They may be a little crooked, or the lines a little thick, or the angles not quite right…. They only approximate that perfect triangle, the ‘ideal triangle’. This tendency towards absolutism is what made it so difficult for Darwin to explain his theory of Evolution - the concept that, say, a giraffe and a frog share a common ancestor; that they, step by step, each changed from the one creature, breeding amongst their new found species until, finally, today, now seem almost incomprehensibly different - though that is a book in itself (and I’m sure Dawkins has already written it)….

It is the same with the ‘ideal man’ or ‘ideal woman’ - they exist in society’s mind’s eye, with no place for the in between. (Sure, individuals may vary from the essential - but not too much, no.. no, then they wouldn’t be “right”… they would be “broken”/”sick”/”disabled” - uncorrelateable with the ideal)
And that’s how we were designed to think. As children that is how we learn. It is black or white. Good guys or bad guys.
Yes, as we get older the gray becomes clearer and clearer, but there are some things that are just wired in.

And yet some of us are manufactured other than according to the factory standard.

The thing that hurts the most…

…it did not count in the end. Which is not to disregard the amazing interim. Just to note that this is how humans work.


This will continue to occur.

Mind over matter only works for so long in certain situations.

Stains on the carpet and stains on the scenery

Cryptozoological encounter tonight - Nessie
There was a floating piece of... something, that made it's way toward Ange and I tonight as we sat by the Brisbane River and ate our hideously expensive lucky 7 chocolate ice cream.

I had chocolate ice cream on my ear tonight..... just wanted to dwell on that for a moment.
And the pavement tried to eat your foot. XD
But don't worry; I stepped on the Cold Rock container on my way past - it had made it's way to the curb on the other side of Earnest St, but I spotted it and adjusted my walk enough to line it up.

Keep reminding me we still love each other and it will be okay (do dee doo mm, just dance).

Post Trocks - the best ballet I'd ever seen.
The right mix of incredible specificity (something I LONG for in physical comedy but is rarely seen. It seems the sheer discipline of ballet/dance truly lends itself to comic excellence in that regard), control, physicality and camp - playing to the audience and truly having fun.
It was the show to see from that close - second row and off to the left.
The dying swan was beautiful. He moved as Dale does. It was so funny, yet poignant. The obvious age of the performer... his stringy muscles and fragility of limbs.... so obviously put on, but on reflection, entirely informed by his age (awareness). The extremity of the form Hurt, and he allowed that to come through (in tiny part) before going on to 'hamming it up'. This piece made the show. Completed it.
Comedy, (intelligent, skilfully executed comedy) with obvious substance behind it.
There was a gentle essence of butoh leaking through the sweat of the performers. (And the sweat[!] flung off their turns as if they were water fountains.)
Some of the footwork reminded me of The Walks.
There was Incredible urgency and control in the movements - silent stomp, double time - essence of.

Theater as a heightened reality.
Those men know what they are doing.

You can be Henry Miller

In this age, which believes that there is a short-cut to everything, the greatest lesson to be learned is that the most difficult way, in the long run, is the easiest.

...you could have at least lost an ear

I'm LOOMING!

WOLVEREENE!! *brandishes cutlery between fingers*

WHO turned on the SUN??

That's a commonly held lie belief.

That's how the world works...
Yes, I know, it's INSOLENT! I will wake up tomorrow and it will still be beautiful!!

A walk through the misty mountains of buildings and I ached for the clarity and beauty of unpopulated places.
There is time.

What Kind Of Paradise Am I Looking For?

I spent hours this morning clambering from roof to interconnecting roof in the middle of the city as the sun rose. One of them was broken so I moved the corrugated iron and climbed inside to explore further.

I do not plan on dying. I shall live forever. As a cyborg, if need be.

When I read comic books I get the urge to leap tall buildings.

This last month and a half has been the most intense time of my entire life. Yes, more so than some of the insane times in highschool and every time I've been to the hospital emergency department, combined.

I'm straight but far more comfortable hitting on/dancing with gay men than girls I like because with the men I don't have to prove anything or follow it through. That was just a round-about way of saying I have commitment issues.
Lover I Don't Have To Love by Bright Eyes is thus one of my favourite songs. Ever.

I'm working on building my own planet. It will be called "Azoic" (and it deserves far more than this passing mention).

The reason I know it's Sunday morning is that the church across the road from my house is ringing it's gigantic bell.