I sat there for hours, thinking you might like a flower

I haven't changed.
Not really. I'm still the kid that built a catapult. I still can't spell. I still become immensely happy when it is foggy. I still make "man-with-an-axe" (and various other) contingency-plans. I still dance in the rain. I still bake things full of food dye for the joy of "BRIGHT GREEN FOOD". I still practice "strategic sitting" (falling over). I still get stuck in trees. I still grin at strangers. I still die a little of joy inside whenever I smell quintessentially "clean" air. I still sing loudly when nobody is around and dance with Roy until he squirms from my arms...
Although I have stopped thinking "What the hell kind of name is 'Roy'?!" and "I have to do something with myself!"... I'd like to see that as some form of 'progress'.

But I digress... it comes down to the fact that I truly, simply, deeply enjoy sharing existence with you.


I'm calmer now. Rational. I hope I didn't scare you with my torrent of "what I have never said".
The more I think about it the clearer it is. I can see the entire thing. How everything lead to this point. I'll explain.. but not now (it will take a few hours yet before I can put it into words).
I'm not as intelligent as I seem.... not when it comes to real life. My knowledge is based in ideals, theories.. I'm easily thrown by the tiniest of moments.
Like the old man asleep on the bus that made me cry.
Or how all the trees in the park were on a lean so I hugged them all; with this vague sweetly-stupid idea of hope inside - hoping they would feel better and stand tall.
Anyhow that's beside the point... what I'm getting at is that life, real life, my real life, I define entirely in terms of this.

"i love you i love you i love you i love you. you're the sweetest thing since sliced tulips."

Por siempre,
-your Frin.