The killer in me is the killer in you

Felling rather antsy...
In a I-need-to-get-out-of-here sort of way. I might just have to pump the tiers of my bike up and ride until I don't know where I am anymore; it's been too long since I've done that.

An IQ of 146 and I haven't even been able to write a fucking simple three page letter.

I'm sabotaging myself again. It bothers me because I am so hyper aware of it.. which just serves to aggravate the situation further.
There are very few things I care enough about to get angry over and this is one... this one is the toughest. I should be able to do this, I can fight it... I keep telling myself I can and yet...
Argh! I might need to ask for help; that in itself is hard enough.. the problem is, that even if I were to ask, I don't know who to turn to.
I can sort this out.
I will...
I just have to remember I'm [human]... sometimes [human]'s need a little help.... right?