"Did you hurt your hand?"

I hadn't seen him standing there....
He caught me cleaning the gash.. luckily it looks a lot better tonight, I could pass it off as a washing-up accident. The bread knife a likely enough culprit.

"Oh.. yeah.. I didn't want to worry you guys because you get.. worried."
"Where were you?"

I needed to get away. The walls were closing in again. I needed to talk.. but there's nobody to listen, nobody who I want to listen, so I went walking.

"Walking... I had my phone."
"You didn't answer it."

It was on silent, still, from training Tuesday night. The reason I missed Tora's call this morning and why I didn't get Trefyn's message... I should change it.. but I won't. Not ready for the jarring loudness it seems to explode with every time it demands my attention (as if to shout "ANSWER ME").

"Sorry. I didn't know it rang. Oh...yeah, one missed call.."

I wouldn't have answered it anyway.. so deep in thought. I considered calling somebody.. anybody.. then realisation set in; I don't call people. Not that they would mind or that it was too late or anything like that... because I mind, because as much as I love all my friends there is only one that I cry to.. and never by phone. I don't even have her number.

"Yeah..."
"I.. had a thing..sort of.. misunderstanding, with a friend, so I went out."

I really do want to tell them sometimes.. what's going on in my life, how the world is through my eyes. It's obvious they would listen.. but.. even the simplest things go unsaid.
I love you, Dad. Sorry I didn't tell you before I went. Sorry I never tell you. I don't think you know how to hear it.

"Oh. Well, you're home now. Goodnight."
"Night."