Look at the stars, look how they shine for you...

Two nights ago I looked up at the stars and cried...
...they are so beautiful.

So I keep my mouth-

Just so I don't forget to check back, I'm writing myself a 'Blog' reminder. (sadly, I am becoming complacent with that toilet-related.... word)

Dear self, you recently wrote an email:

Hello there!

My name is Frin and whilst on the hunt for something to do this hideously sunny day I decided to poke around on the inter-web… I then got distracted and raided the fridge which ended with me getting hit in the face with a grape; which was all very nasty and completely irrelevant to the point of this e-mail. Not-so-pertinent stories aside, I survived, got back to my computer and eventually I came across your JTHM site. Needless to say I think it’s one of the better ones out there (and lets face it, there’s an ass-load of them), so props to you dear site designer!

Anyhoots I suppose I should press on with my trawling through the depths of human knowledge (with the aid of Google and Wikipedia, no less) but before I do I shall attach my own JTHM computer background which I made many a moon ago using Photoshop, The Directors Cut (which after owning for a good long time I only realised Jhonen used blood on the cover art when I scanned it) and my beloved scanner which hardly ever works… but again, I digress, my apologies.

In conclusion; nice website, attached is my contribution if you’ll have it.

-Frin

:to a girl (you assume) about her (his? their?) JTHM website. This is your official 'note to self' reminder to check their site in a few weeks to see if they put your picture up.
HERE
That is all.

Edit: Oh yeah!! It's on her site! My ruling of the universe is one step closer to completion.. or something. WOO!

I only ask you turn away

"You tell yourself that noise is what defines silence. Without noise, silence would not be golden. Noise is the exception. Think of deep outer space, the incredible cold and quiet […]. Silence, not heaven, would be reward enough."

Note to self: Buy better earplugs.

One can only feel desolate for so long....

....until one starts to change into something the mirror doesn't recognise.

I'm so sick of 'falling down' (metaphorically speaking - I'm not very clumsy these days), and I'm getting even sicker of getting back up. School has drained so much from me I've gotten to the point where all I have to do is think about a subject and I've had as much of it as I can take. It's the same as living here... I'm trapped, the only room I can stand being in is this damn 3m X 4m computer room (holding cell) because every other place in the house is constantly invaded by the intolerable disruption of the boy's music. I can't take it... if I go to the toilet I want to go deaf so I don't want the bass or heavy guitar line of whatever he's listing to to disturb and penetrate my thoughts any further.. sometimes I just want quiet, and somewhere comfortable to read, but I can't even get that. I used to be able to tolerate it (the incessant noise) but the years have ground away my resistance and now the slightest tremor through the floor is enough to make me cry with frustration. I need a break, I need to get away, but I don’t have the time, or anywhere to go. Right now I'd settle for somewhere undisturbed that I could call my own to forego all these damn unwanted responsibilities for a while... I'm so tired of failing.

"Holding your head up is hard when you just want to stay on the ground."

The state of the world 1.0

If you don’t want to read the whole thing, that’s cool, just go to the link!! *cackles manically*

Who here remembers Operation D.O.O.M. (Destroy O.O. Mankind.... I've since forgotten what the two 'O's stood for, but I do remember it made me giggle... I was in hysterics that first day I came up with it)? And who also remembers the time I calculated (as part of operation D.O.O.M.) what would happen if the entire population of the word jumped in the same spot at the same time? If you remember that you also might remember that I found it negligible (even though it took me a hours of reading and doing calculations, then days of factoring in variables and making assumptions) and that the Earth would carry on it normal orbit.... These findings and my strangeness aside, I want everybody to participate in:

WORLD JUMP DAY

Seriously people, it's something that I would have come up with (if I hadn't became bored and went to watch cartoons then got allured by the fact that Australia has the most Uranium in the entire world.. which we shall all remember now and shake our heads...)!! That notwithstanding, it's sheer genius (even if it is a load of crap)!! Think what would happen if we could get it on the news and force everybody who cared about their world out into the street to jump!! That's working on society's many problems right there; increasing motivation and caring for the planet, forcing the overweight to exercise and giving them self-confidence/self-pride (in that because they are heavy, they probably moved the earth more than Mr.Skinny down the road did) not to mention the sense of unity and love of the outdoors! It's sheer brilliance, and I encourage you all to participate! Remember those stupid ads that used to be on TV "PARTICIPATE!! FEEL GREAT!!" ? Just think of them (unless you're like me and want to punch the people on that add in their smug, perky little faces)!
C'mon everybody, get in there and save your world!! ..or move it.. whatever.

Drowned in flames is where I can be found

I know it’s nearly 2am and I have to get up in about four or so hours, but I have to write this now or I never will…

I did all the wrong things, I said all the wrong things, broke your heart and further damaged mine, all because I was scared… scared of the fact that you reminded me too much of her, and that I reminded me too much of me.
She never cut until she met me… did you? I doubt it. She never burnt either.. she never listened to hardcore music or dyed her hair black, sure she liked the ‘dark side of humanity’ but it was me that showed it to her... me that in doing so destroyed he last few tatters of her innocence and me that finally left her because she was too broken, far too far gone, too manipulative and no longer the person I fell in love with.
I doubt that would’ve happened with you, but enough happened to scare me… that first night, I didn’t stop you because of Lara next door, I stopped you because it was exactly how it happened with her… You must understand, as much as I hurt her… she broke me. Yes, I’m ok (mostly) now.. yes, I’ve forced myself to ‘get over it’, but still.. the scar (the wound) remains.
I never really gave you a reason... I didn't really have one to give. I told you all I could bear to, even against my better judgment, that's how much I value you.. I couldn't even bring myself to lie to you, even if it was for your protection. I gave you some (most) of the thoughts that led up to the decision but I don’t think it was enough to help you to understand. I still don't have much of a reason for you now, just fragments from my shattered consciousness, fragments in picking up I hope you might be able to understand, maybe even accept and be ok with all of this... That's probably too much to hope for, but all I really want is you to feel better, maybe some good come of it.. I'd like to think that some did.
But none of that is what I wanted to say... Mostly I just want to say I’m sorry to you. I should never have asked in the first place, I’m not good with relationships… I’m sorry, so very sorry… Mostly sorry that there’s nothing I can do to make everything better for you, if I had a magic wand I would, but I don’t and I can’t. Just know that I’ve never thought any less of you for any reason; this wasn’t your doing. You’ve always been that funny, interesting girl around to brighten my day, and I thank you deeply for that. Whatever you need, I’m here to help, all right? I hope you’re having a good night right now, and sleeping as peacefully as I am picturing you, just a few streets away…