....until one starts to change into something the mirror doesn't recognise.
I'm so sick of 'falling down' (metaphorically speaking - I'm not very clumsy these days), and I'm getting even sicker of getting back up. School has drained so much from me I've gotten to the point where all I have to do is think about a subject and I've had as much of it as I can take. It's the same as living here... I'm trapped, the only room I can stand being in is this damn 3m X 4m computer room (holding cell) because every other place in the house is constantly invaded by the intolerable disruption of the boy's music. I can't take it... if I go to the toilet I want to go deaf so I don't want the bass or heavy guitar line of whatever he's listing to to disturb and penetrate my thoughts any further.. sometimes I just want quiet, and somewhere comfortable to read, but I can't even get that. I used to be able to tolerate it (the incessant noise) but the years have ground away my resistance and now the slightest tremor through the floor is enough to make me cry with frustration. I need a break, I need to get away, but I don’t have the time, or anywhere to go. Right now I'd settle for somewhere undisturbed that I could call my own to forego all these damn unwanted responsibilities for a while... I'm so tired of failing.
"Holding your head up is hard when you just want to stay on the ground."
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